For so long, I’ve tried to find my comfort place in this world. When I was a child, it was my best friend’s apartment, when I was a teen, it was in a video game world, and when I was in college, it was a music studio. All of these places are still near and dear, but that apartment is no more, I don’t have much time for video game immersion without guilt, and I do not make and pursue music like I used to.
This has put me in a bit of a dark spot. Now, you may or may not have thought, “What about your home?” Well, sometimes my home is a complete place of peace. But even though I live by myself, anxiety likes to break into my home and attack my peace. (Asshole) So where can I truly get my peace and comfort?
Is it the gym? I like the gym and I usually feel better after going, but with the people that’s usually around, the noise, the sweat, and having my headphones in the whole time, it’s not exactly an introvert’s dream spot.
The movies? Yeah, I can chill in a theater and enjoy a good movie, but my attention span is terrible and any movie past an hour and a half is too much for me, no matter how good it is.
Or can it be clubs and parties? Ha. Haha. Hahaha. Let’s move on.
So what can it possibly be? What can is generally quiet, calm, have a variety of things to do, and a place where I can learn, grow as a person, and create? Of course, a library! But not even a library. Places that involves learning and peace like bookstores, tea shops, poetry events, etc.
“But Terrell, you don’t read books like that.” Of course I don’t. And I’m working on that. I’m accustomed to turning to video games for entertainment, but my book collection and reading time is growing. Plus, there are two ways to explain why this is my place of peace.
When I was in elementary school my mother took me to the library often. It was one of my favorite places to go and I loved to read new stories. Mama says, “When I took Terrell to library, he always came out with two full bags of books, and read them in one day.” I even used to write my own short stories in elementary school. I even tried to read the entire bible and teen fiction books in 1st grade. Goosebumps was my jam!! I loved reading and writing, but my environment did not. As I grew up, I started to shy away from books and dabbled in things other kids around me liked like movies, music, and games. I think now is the time for me to unlock that interest I had as a young one and be in my place of comfort.
Also, I just mentioned reading and writing. I don’t read much, but I do write A LOT, given my blog, multiple mixtapes, short stories, chapbooks, etc. I think my place of comfort is less about me reading and more about the art of writing. When I read these books, I think about the author’s mindset and thoughts while writing their story or observations. I’m working on writing a full book now and plan to do more in the future. I can always go to a library and write in peace, for the most part.
Now that I have a good idea of a type of place in this world that calms me, I can take advantage while I grow internally, be productive, and work on my anxiety. I recommend you find your place of peace in this world too. Even if it is home, it can sometimes not be enough. We need a social spot outside of our shell to have a sense of belonging with. Find that and enjoy your peace in this world.