My mind’s racing, not complacent, I’m dream-chasing. I can't sleep, my thoughts are baking, they won't be quiet. I need silence, but the mind won't keep my fears private. I need out of it, trying to settle with some logic, But logic and empty pockets don’t match. I feel attached to the chains that keep… Continue reading Write to Sleep
Diagnosis...they're handing it out to me like bills. Major Depression. Social Anxiety. Obesity. Diabetes. Sleep Apnea. Insomnia. Carpal Tunnel. Bell's Palsy as a teen. How am I even alive? How am I still striving? This isn't even mentioning past poverty, discrimination, loneliness, self-confidence, and other things that effect the diagnosis's above, but are separate issues… Continue reading Diagnosis
I want to be someone's 1st priority. Is that too much to ask? If I'm needed for help, royally, I'm down for the task. Yes, I am loved, and we all have our lives. But I can't seem to escape loneliness, to no one's surprise. I hate that I need it, attention, I… Continue reading 1st Priority
We are about to get real with this one. Yesterday, I almost checked myself into a hospital. I had a mental/nervous/panic breakdown where I could not move, I was shaking and trembling, and I had WAY too many thoughts in my head. All I could do in that moment is DM a friend who I've… Continue reading The Evening I Almost Checked Myself into a Mental Hospital
What's that smell? Do I offend? Does my presence hurt your senses? Sorry for not being clean, I just can't seem to find the right soap. I keep trying different kinds that's recommended from many friends, family, and professionals, but nothing seems to be working. I can't shake it off. I used to think others… Continue reading Do I offend?
I admit, I’ve been slipping on my self-care. Do I dare to live a life that doesn’t compare to a traveler nearly there? Is life particularly fair if your head’s stuck in the air? Got to wake up from this hell and get out of this nightmare. Maybe I should use the pair of my… Continue reading Nearly There
I am seething with hate right now. It seems like road blocks are consistent in my path of growth. So I'm free-writing right now. Your eyes are my journal. I was diagnosed with clinical depression and social anxiety in 2018, around the same time I was attending Sam Houston State University for a Masters in… Continue reading Mental health in an unforgiving world. (Journal)
Grateful.I am grateful to have family, friends, mentors, and mentees to keep me sane as we all grow together. Learning.I am learning my true fulfillment; I once chased money from the fear having none due to the past, but now I chase impact as the change I create in this world is the only thing… Continue reading G.L.A.D Pt. 1
The scientists observe as they stare through the glass. Wondering if he feels trapped or comfortable in his habitat. Sometimes he looks depressed, stressed, and urging for social interaction, but when we open the doors, he never leaves. Is he scared? Nervous? Anti-social? Scarred? He looks through the glass with an imaginative look of life… Continue reading The Loner Experiment
It's 1:30 in the morning. Here I am laying in a bed in the wonderful Sheraton hotel for a great conference designed to strengthen my career in education. Free food, free seminars, free time. And yet, I still can't sleep. 1:36 A.M. Thinking about change. Thinking about the positives and negatives. Thinking about the times… Continue reading 1:30 A.M.