Staring through the views of green, I'm seeing nothing but blurry scenes of trees and I'm thinking like what you mean? Losing your mind over this stuff you cant control, Draining you of your soul, keep your eyes on the road. Don't look at what they're doing, they ain't you, You know what can do.… Continue reading The Heart
For so long, I've tried to find my comfort place in this world. When I was a child, it was my best friend's apartment, when I was a teen, it was in a video game world, and when I was in college, it was a music studio. All of these places are still near and… Continue reading What is my place of peace?
Sun dimming down, it’s my only source of light. Only the flame of the candle can reach my sight. No sleeping tonight, because stress has taken a toll. No air, no heat, and no energy in my home. Sixteen, in my room, listening to my mother cry, And I have no control, because I’m too… Continue reading No Lights
My mind’s racing, not complacent, I’m dream-chasing. I can't sleep, my thoughts are baking, they won't be quiet. I need silence, but the mind won't keep my fears private. I need out of it, trying to settle with some logic, But logic and empty pockets don’t match. I feel attached to the chains that keep… Continue reading Write to Sleep
Diagnosis...they're handing it out to me like bills. Major Depression. Social Anxiety. Obesity. Diabetes. Sleep Apnea. Insomnia. Carpal Tunnel. Bell's Palsy as a teen. How am I even alive? How am I still striving? This isn't even mentioning past poverty, discrimination, loneliness, self-confidence, and other things that effect the diagnosis's above, but are separate issues… Continue reading Diagnosis
I want to be someone's 1st priority. Is that too much to ask? If I'm needed for help, royally, I'm down for the task. Yes, I am loved, and we all have our lives. But I can't seem to escape loneliness, to no one's surprise. I hate that I need it, attention, I… Continue reading 1st Priority
We are about to get real with this one. Yesterday, I almost checked myself into a hospital. I had a mental/nervous/panic breakdown where I could not move, I was shaking and trembling, and I had WAY too many thoughts in my head. All I could do in that moment is DM a friend who I've… Continue reading The Evening I Almost Checked Myself into a Mental Hospital
What's that smell? Do I offend? Does my presence hurt your senses? Sorry for not being clean, I just can't seem to find the right soap. I keep trying different kinds that's recommended from many friends, family, and professionals, but nothing seems to be working. I can't shake it off. I used to think others… Continue reading Do I offend?
I admit, I’ve been slipping on my self-care. Do I dare to live a life that doesn’t compare to a traveler nearly there? Is life particularly fair if your head’s stuck in the air? Got to wake up from this hell and get out of this nightmare. Maybe I should use the pair of my… Continue reading Nearly There
I am seething with hate right now. It seems like road blocks are consistent in my path of growth. So I'm free-writing right now. Your eyes are my journal. I was diagnosed with clinical depression and social anxiety in 2018, around the same time I was attending Sam Houston State University for a Masters in… Continue reading Mental health in an unforgiving world. (Journal)